Emotional Intelligence Expert, Sandra Clifton, MBA, shares 8 Powerful Phrases for Emotionally Intelligent
Kids May Use to Disarm and Repel Narcissistic Kids. One of the most viewed subjects on positive psychology websites is how to handle narcissists and not be manipulated by narcissistic people.
What is a Narcissist?
Oxford Dictionary defines a narcissist as a person who has a condition in which they are only interested in themselves and what they want, and have a strong need to be admired and a lack of understanding of other people’s feelings. Narcissists lack emotional intelligence and usually lack empathy for others, even for their family, friends, and colleagues. They have a desire to be praised, admired, a sense of entitlement, and an inflated ego. “ A narcissist will often become disruptive, sulk, pout, become agitated, when they are unable to get attention and focus on themselves. Ultimately, the narcissist is always desiring to get what they want with little regard to the feelings and emotions of others,” said emotional intelligence expert Sandra M. Clifton, MBA, emotional intelligence expert, the co-founder and co-creator of Positive Peers Learning Software Partners, positiveandmindfulparenting.com,
Changechildbehavior.com, the co-founder and author of the EQ and IQ Academy. This groundbreaking educational curriculum combines IQ and Emotional Intelligence for preschoolers, young children and neurodivergent learners. She believes that learning emotional intelligence at an early age is very important to the academic success and future career development of children. “Emotionally intelligent teachers and parents can help young children learn how to communicate and manage their emotions and disarm a narcissist,” Sandra Clifton said.
“Words cannot usually destroy a narcissist, but it can disarm them and repel their behavior and may even help and challenge them to grow their emotional intelligence.”
“A Narcissist and or a bully usually says and often does mean things towards others that make themselves feel superior. A narcissist can have the emotional intelligence of a toddler and clearly display intense emotions and often anger towards anyone that prevents them from getting what they want.”
A narcissist will use insulting and offensive phrases like “I hate you.” “I wish you would die.” “I wish you were not my parent, mother, father, brother, sister, teacher, etc.” “You are the worst mother/father/grandfather/grandmother/ in the world.” ”You are the stupidest person in the world.” “You are the meanest.” “You are nasty and mean to me.”
“The first lesson and most important lesson is to stay calm, and it is very difficult because of the emotional agitation of a narcissist,” says Jomo Gamal Thomas, co-author of EQ and IQ Academy and “My First Holy Bible for Kids” co-founder of the Positive Peers Software Learning Partners. “Take some deep breaths and don’t react with high emotions,” said Sandra Clifton.
Sandra M. Clifton and Jomo Gamal Thomas, share 8 powerful phrases of highly emotionally intelligent people that you can use to teach your kids to boost their emotional intelligence and disarm a narcissist or a bully.
- “I am in control of myself and I cannot control your feelings or the feelings of others, nor do I want to control how you feel about me.” These words set a clear boundary between yourself and the other person. You also let them know you only take accountability for your actions and not the feelings of others. and lets them
- “Your hate is not my responsibility. I am going to remove myself from your presence.” This sends a clear message to the narcissistic person that you have a clear boundary, and you don’t have any responsibility for their feelings. You also are able to disengage from them. This deflates them because you are not fueling their ego.
- “I respect your right to your opinion and we can respect each other for having different opinions.” The key is to show respect and also cease and desist from communicating further to halt any arguments or opportunity for escalating a conflict. Be polite and remain in control. You can simply state, “ I will not be communicating further about it.”
- “Thank you for letting me know how you feel about me and I will note that I don’t control how you feel about me.” The words thank you is very powerful in disarming a narcissist and at the same time you show that you understand their feelings without necessarily agreeing with them. You also establish a boundary by letting the person know that you are not responsible for their feelings and you are in control of your behavior.
- “I can accept how you feel and that is your right and I will do my best not to communicate further.” This acknowledges the feelings of the narcissistic person and at the same time tells them that you will not be engaging with them and de-escalates the situation.
- “Thanks for sharing and I am also sharing that I don’t like how you are talking with me so I will remove myself.” The words thank you acknowledge the other person’s feelings and then you share your feelings and disengage from any potential conflict. It allows for mutual respect and parting of ways and again, you are in control of your own behavior.
- “Thanks for sharing. I understand and I will respect your opinion and I will not engage in any more conversations.” Thanks is always a good way of taking the high road and at the same time, acknowledging the narcissistic person has a right to their opinion and you also need to disengage from them.
- “We can agree to disagree.” This lets them know that they have a right to their opinion and that their opinion does not change your opinion. You should not communicate further after saying these words. You should exit after your statement. Nothing is gained by staying around negative emotions.
The number one thing that highly emotionally intelligent people have is self-awareness and they also know the importance of self-care and self-compassion. Do yourself a favor and not stay around negative energy, negative talk, and practice positive self-talk.
Parents, teachers, caregivers, and children should read more information in the EQ and IQ Academy Workbook.
It is important to encourage children to read fun and emotional intelligence books that enhance emotional intelligence such as “The Angry Vacuum”, “The Emotions Volcano” by Jomo Jesús Thomas Suriel.
About the Authors
Sandra M. Clifton, MBA
Sandra M. Clifton, MBA, emotional intelligence expert, founder of Clifton Academy, the co-founder of The Smart Brain Train Academy, Positive Peers Learning Software Partners, author of the EQ IQ Academy for Preschoolers, Kindergartners, and Neurodivergent Learners, publisher, and bestselling editor of “The Angry Vacuum” and “Emotions Volcano,” emotional intelligence expert, EQ and IQ Academy for kids and neurodivergent learners, software, books, parentshelpparents.com, Positiveandmindfulparenting.com, changechildbehavior.com, education apps and the Emotional Intelligence Youth Leadership Academy that inspire young minds.
Jomo Gamal Thomas
Jomo Gamal Thomas, bilingual attorney, publisher, author of the ”EQ and IQ Academy,” “My First Holu Bible For Kids,” the illustrator of the best selling series “The Angry Vacuum” and “The Emotions Volcano,” Sid and Super Happy Kid and Laura The Emotions Explorer, co-founder of The Smart Brain Academy, Positive Peers Learning Software, software developer of emotional intelligence for kids and neurodivergent learners and education technology A.I. apps, and the author of the My First Bible For Kids. Co-founder of ParentshelpParents.com, ChangeChildbehavior.com, and PositiveandMindfulParenting.com
Jomo Jesus Thomas Suriel
Jomo Jesus Thomas Suriel is not your ordinary 8 year old, a prodigy and multi-published author who is bilingual in Spanish and English. His popular children’s books on emotional intelligence often include English and Spanish references, along with tools for self-awareness, mindfulness and self-regulation. A natural communicator, he has a profound understanding of emotional intelligence and emotional regulation. He excels at simplifying complex ideas for young readers. In addition to his writing of books, he studies Mandarin and Hebrew. His books include the 3 book series “Sid the Super Happy Kid and Laura the Emotions Explorer,” “The Emotions Volcano,” “The Angry Vacuum,” and the “Critical Critters.” At the age of 4, he wrote The Super Happy Kid Defeats the Angries,” and “Super Happy Kid in Angry Land” books. He is the CEO of Super Happy Publishing and also the co-founder of the Smart Brain Train Academy. The Emotions Volcano is highly recommended for young readers, blending an exciting story with essential lessons on managing emotions. It is an excellent tool for parents and educators looking to introduce young minds to mindfulness, SEL, and cultivating a growth mindset.
